well i've gotten back some of my results
i must say tt i'm not exactly happy with them..
some subjects maybe i din really study tt hard
so what i got..
maybe i deserved it
but then
some..
i really studied really hard...i really did..i studied..
but my results
still like that
i dunno
its really just makes me feel very demoralised
like
i dunno
there's no point in me studying so hard since all my results are just like that
makes me feel like changing course
but the problem is
i dunno what course to change to
even if i have the opportunity to change course
what else can i study?
what else can i do?
with my ambition of being a housewife
there's actually nothing tt i shld study
cus i technically dun need to study
but i have to be self sufficient
so i have to get a degree and get a job
i dun hanker for a really good life with big house n big cars n all
so do i really need to work so hard?
i'm happy with being average
but i cant accept tt for grades
i dunno why
esp if i studied so hard
i dun like to compete
tt y i dun like sports
wether i win or lose..
but i have no choice not to compete
every competes with their grades
and what makes it worse is that everyone in chem engin is really clever...
so tt makes its much worse..
it makes me feel really really stupid
haiz
i dunno
dunno what i shld do
even if i have a back door to take
i dunno what i shld study
HAIZ
it sux
decision decision decisions..
sighs
n my driving test is coming soon
and my driving skills are confirm not there yet
i really worry that i will fail
but there's nothing much that i can do about it i guess
cus i'm really worried
even though there's like no one in my family tt expects me to pass
i want me to pass on the first try
i dun like going for driving lessons
i really just want the whole driving thing to be over as soon as possible.
haiz
o wells
i really gotta buck up and study harder
it hurts so much
it hurts so much to noe tt i'm quite lousy
n ppl might not do it purposefully, but it still hurts
but i cant show them tt it hurts
even though sometimes what i want to do is to scream at them n tell them to shut up cus i did even worse
but i wun
i cant
i'm too busy trying to comfort myself tt its ok
tell myself not to cry
to tell myself tt it will be better in the end
i just need to do my best n stay on till the end
i dun really want to go overseas n study
i nv did
n after 1 sem in uni
i still dun want to go to overseas uni
so i gotta try my best to stay here
hopefully i will and i can
i wun do stupid things
i promise...